A new conference has started at the Seminary so there are new students here and some PhD students have left. Chapel is crowded as is coffee time. Many things are happening all at once so the schedules have changed. I am meeting more new people from more new places. Many languages around the table.
This morning I attended a presentation of a paper that was really examining the methodology behind the methodology of doing liberation theology. It was philosophy and theology and ........
heady stuff. The presentation was good and the question and answer time was helpful. The questions flushed out my questions which really were about content but that is not what the presentation was for. The thread gets difficult to follow.
More reading on Leadership in Context and more conversations about churches around the world.
This afternoon I have taken myself to a church, a big Baroque style Catholic Church. I went because I needed to walk and I needed to rest my brain. I went alone and navigated the public transportation into the city. I am getting better at it. Have a better sense of where things are in relationship to each other. Being a visual person it is important for me to do these side trips while it is still light out, so I headed out late afternoon.
I am always taken aback when I have to pay an entrance fee to get inside a church. I guess we could have our little church open during the week and Fran could take fees, it might help. [joking of course]. My concern is that what has happened to the church in Europe is happening now to the church in the West too. Churches are becoming museums of what was. Where is the life?
These questions are all tied up in what I have been studying, church identity, context, mission. How best to lead in difficult time? How to work at discipleship that is living and produces good fruit? Do we want to preserve the church of Jesus Christ or do we want to preserve architecture? The paintings were beautiful, the building and sculptures ornate, but it was just me and an Italian couple [I know because they spoke Italian to me] that were actually praying.
I am getting a better sense of where things are in these matters too. I am getting a better sense of who we are called to be. Study leave can be a very good thing. Sometimes it is what is needed to take oneself outside of oneself so that one can see.
Lots of things to ponder. Yes. Lots of things to pray over, yes, even more.
I look forward to coming home soon.
J
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Contextualization
In every book and every article I have been reading on leadership the idea of CONTEXT has arisen. CONTEXT as a conceptual idea is tossed around in a lot of situations [contexts] but pinning down its meaning is like trying to pin fluid jello to the wall. This week however I have sat with three professors and 12 or so students and we engaged in an endeavor to do just that,
pin down the meaning of context. We asked questions like "What is contextualization?", "How does one determine one's context?" [also in the case of institutions and systems], "Who decides the questions?", "Who decides the answers.". It was all very heady stuff, hard to grasp and decidedly academic.
Always when I am in this type of setting, I am enjoying the heady, philosophical atmosphere of learning, but the other side of me is extremely pragmatic, "what does this have to do with real life?" or more importantly, "what does this have to do with the church and specifically our congregation?"
After the seminar I had more of these questions than answers so I decided to back up a bit and go to where I usually start on these sorts of quests for understanding; the dictionary.
The definitions of CONTEXT, varied more than usual from dictionary to dictionary, but I will paraphrase/combining what I read.
CONTEXT: a noun
1. the words or phrases around a word that help us grasp the meaning of the word
2. Situations, facts, environment, setting, of a situation, [or group of people say like a church]
that gives meaning, understanding to their identity
I thought that the definitions, varied as they were, really offer a good understanding of a word in context. Which also explains why I like to read a large bible passage than just a little one, because in its context we find broader meaning.
But the second definition, the one I was really after, wasn't so clear as a working definition.
For our church today [and I would guess most mainline churches also] context asks questions about who we are? Who we have been? What about our setting in a small town in upstate New York has influenced how we act, what we do, how we are church?
What seems to me to be part of the broader understanding of CONTEXT are questions relating to the setting, environment, community we find ourselves in currently? The context of our times, the setting of our day, the implications of our environment and reality of it's culture all have impact on who we are as a church but also who we are as individuals.
These are difficult questions of how our context affects our identity as a congregation. These are harder questions to decipher, i.e. Who are we? Who we seek to be? Who we will have to be in order to survive into this next generation?
I am going to be pushing us in this direction, seeking a clearer identity, asking what is our CONTEXT and how does that change or direct we should be. We will have to pray that the spirit shows us the way. But truly questions of CONTEXT, are going to be most important as we seek to grow in faith and service.
More work today, more prayers for the day.
God is good and always God is good.
pin down the meaning of context. We asked questions like "What is contextualization?", "How does one determine one's context?" [also in the case of institutions and systems], "Who decides the questions?", "Who decides the answers.". It was all very heady stuff, hard to grasp and decidedly academic.
Always when I am in this type of setting, I am enjoying the heady, philosophical atmosphere of learning, but the other side of me is extremely pragmatic, "what does this have to do with real life?" or more importantly, "what does this have to do with the church and specifically our congregation?"
After the seminar I had more of these questions than answers so I decided to back up a bit and go to where I usually start on these sorts of quests for understanding; the dictionary.
The definitions of CONTEXT, varied more than usual from dictionary to dictionary, but I will paraphrase/combining what I read.
CONTEXT: a noun
1. the words or phrases around a word that help us grasp the meaning of the word
2. Situations, facts, environment, setting, of a situation, [or group of people say like a church]
that gives meaning, understanding to their identity
I thought that the definitions, varied as they were, really offer a good understanding of a word in context. Which also explains why I like to read a large bible passage than just a little one, because in its context we find broader meaning.
But the second definition, the one I was really after, wasn't so clear as a working definition.
For our church today [and I would guess most mainline churches also] context asks questions about who we are? Who we have been? What about our setting in a small town in upstate New York has influenced how we act, what we do, how we are church?
What seems to me to be part of the broader understanding of CONTEXT are questions relating to the setting, environment, community we find ourselves in currently? The context of our times, the setting of our day, the implications of our environment and reality of it's culture all have impact on who we are as a church but also who we are as individuals.
These are difficult questions of how our context affects our identity as a congregation. These are harder questions to decipher, i.e. Who are we? Who we seek to be? Who we will have to be in order to survive into this next generation?
I am going to be pushing us in this direction, seeking a clearer identity, asking what is our CONTEXT and how does that change or direct we should be. We will have to pray that the spirit shows us the way. But truly questions of CONTEXT, are going to be most important as we seek to grow in faith and service.
More work today, more prayers for the day.
God is good and always God is good.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Friends, I am back from two days in Germany. The weather was very, snowy and on Saturday there was thunder and lightening with heavy snow. It was very strange. Driving home on the Autobahn was scarey and my upstate New York driving-in-snow-and-ice skills came in very handy. I succeeded in getting us back safe and sound. Grateful. Very grateful.
This morning I wanted to stay in bed. The rooms are so cold here at night and they are used to using heavy blankets and saving energy. WE are not so used to it. Conservation and environmental responsibility are everywhere here. It is interesting as they consume so much less than we do to begin with and yet we do not feel the responsibility or stewardship to the conservation of resources. I wonder where our ideas about entitlement come from but I digress.
Today the theme presenting, purely by experience, is the whole idea of community. What is community? What does healthy, welcoming, open community look like?
In my life, I find myself so often times, way outside the box. I stand on tiptoe looking in through the picture window, because of my marriage or my beliefs or my gender, often I "do not belong."
Yes, I am tired and a bit homesick, but aside from that, this is a Christian Community, and it is a hard place to "enter". Pondering this all morning and applying it to the church congregational community has made me very empathetic.
It has to be so very difficult for someone outside of "our circle" to enter into it. First, even to make the choice or decision to try, then to actually come, then to put themselves out there to participate. Think of how hard it would be for a non-churched person, for whom our customs and traditions are totally foreign,[like living in a foreign land and speaking a different language],
to decide, well "I think I will go to First Baptist Church of Brockport, to seek God and community." Why it is almost impossible to imagine it. Then to actually enter, well, where should I park and what door should I go in? And what do I say if someone speaks to me? Where should I sit? What are these page numbers in this program for? Do I have to sing? How will I know when to sit or stand? How will I know how to sing the tune? What if someone hears my voice and it isn't good enough? Will people be looking at me? What should I wear? Where does God live here, I don't see Him....Her....? How do I pray?
Today, I went early to chapel to pray. It was quiet with a few others praying and only the piano man playing some hymns and choruses, some of which I recognized and some I didn't. Groups and alliances have formed, among the full-time students who are working on certificates in Theology and live here year round, among the returning and new Ph. D. students with each other and with the faculty, among the Russian speaking students, among the English speaking students, with the U.S. students, with the U.K. students, with the Eastern European students, etc. etc......Because I am early and have sat, not in my usual chair [ahhhh, yes, that familiar pew]
but across from the main door, by the piano, I have positioned myself to watch as all the students come in the door. Each enters, generally one at a time, but sometimes in pairs, the man or the woman opens the door, steps in, [we sit in a circle] their eyes move/dart around the circle and you can see when recognition comes: "oh, yea, there is a familiar person, there is a friend, there is safety, place for me."
Here again, I find the gender gap even wider than in the states. A very lot of men, only lecturers are men, and very few women students. I observe the dynamics of learning as a wide flow, as if a river of communication is here happening with the men. One can almost see the women attempt to enter the flow, as if fighting the power upstream. It is that way also with the times of fellowship. The men speak, the women listen; and when the women speaks, it is as if she has crossed the red sea. In other words, a woman either needs to be so strong as to have the miraculous power of God or a very large army. I am reminded again that tenacity has its own rewards and learning, real learning, always involves suffering of one kind or another. I am also realizing a new the great courage it took for First Baptist Church of Brockport to call a woman as it's pastor. And once more I am filled with deep gratitude.
Today in my studies I have found a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that described in her words the three assets of her life: 1. She was keenly interested. 2. She accepted both the challenges and the opportunities to learn 3. She had energy and discipline. [or perhaps even discipline for her energy.]
I believe that I have one and two but need to work on three. It is very easy in this time in which we live to become dis-illusioned, and/or overwhelmed by both information and the realities of our time. This is where faith must come in. Also disciplined energy is hard work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a different note: In chapel this morning we did what was called, "circle prayers". Prayers were offered corporately for different peoples and then we all said in unison:
Circle us O God,
Circle us with your presence.
Keep love within,
Keep trouble out.
Keep faith within,
Keep fear out.
That is my prayer for our congregation, that is my prayer today for the community of Brockport, the city of Rochester and even to the ends of the world.
Peace!
Shalom!
This morning I wanted to stay in bed. The rooms are so cold here at night and they are used to using heavy blankets and saving energy. WE are not so used to it. Conservation and environmental responsibility are everywhere here. It is interesting as they consume so much less than we do to begin with and yet we do not feel the responsibility or stewardship to the conservation of resources. I wonder where our ideas about entitlement come from but I digress.
Today the theme presenting, purely by experience, is the whole idea of community. What is community? What does healthy, welcoming, open community look like?
In my life, I find myself so often times, way outside the box. I stand on tiptoe looking in through the picture window, because of my marriage or my beliefs or my gender, often I "do not belong."
Yes, I am tired and a bit homesick, but aside from that, this is a Christian Community, and it is a hard place to "enter". Pondering this all morning and applying it to the church congregational community has made me very empathetic.
It has to be so very difficult for someone outside of "our circle" to enter into it. First, even to make the choice or decision to try, then to actually come, then to put themselves out there to participate. Think of how hard it would be for a non-churched person, for whom our customs and traditions are totally foreign,[like living in a foreign land and speaking a different language],
to decide, well "I think I will go to First Baptist Church of Brockport, to seek God and community." Why it is almost impossible to imagine it. Then to actually enter, well, where should I park and what door should I go in? And what do I say if someone speaks to me? Where should I sit? What are these page numbers in this program for? Do I have to sing? How will I know when to sit or stand? How will I know how to sing the tune? What if someone hears my voice and it isn't good enough? Will people be looking at me? What should I wear? Where does God live here, I don't see Him....Her....? How do I pray?
Today, I went early to chapel to pray. It was quiet with a few others praying and only the piano man playing some hymns and choruses, some of which I recognized and some I didn't. Groups and alliances have formed, among the full-time students who are working on certificates in Theology and live here year round, among the returning and new Ph. D. students with each other and with the faculty, among the Russian speaking students, among the English speaking students, with the U.S. students, with the U.K. students, with the Eastern European students, etc. etc......Because I am early and have sat, not in my usual chair [ahhhh, yes, that familiar pew]
but across from the main door, by the piano, I have positioned myself to watch as all the students come in the door. Each enters, generally one at a time, but sometimes in pairs, the man or the woman opens the door, steps in, [we sit in a circle] their eyes move/dart around the circle and you can see when recognition comes: "oh, yea, there is a familiar person, there is a friend, there is safety, place for me."
Here again, I find the gender gap even wider than in the states. A very lot of men, only lecturers are men, and very few women students. I observe the dynamics of learning as a wide flow, as if a river of communication is here happening with the men. One can almost see the women attempt to enter the flow, as if fighting the power upstream. It is that way also with the times of fellowship. The men speak, the women listen; and when the women speaks, it is as if she has crossed the red sea. In other words, a woman either needs to be so strong as to have the miraculous power of God or a very large army. I am reminded again that tenacity has its own rewards and learning, real learning, always involves suffering of one kind or another. I am also realizing a new the great courage it took for First Baptist Church of Brockport to call a woman as it's pastor. And once more I am filled with deep gratitude.
Today in my studies I have found a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that described in her words the three assets of her life: 1. She was keenly interested. 2. She accepted both the challenges and the opportunities to learn 3. She had energy and discipline. [or perhaps even discipline for her energy.]
I believe that I have one and two but need to work on three. It is very easy in this time in which we live to become dis-illusioned, and/or overwhelmed by both information and the realities of our time. This is where faith must come in. Also disciplined energy is hard work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a different note: In chapel this morning we did what was called, "circle prayers". Prayers were offered corporately for different peoples and then we all said in unison:
Circle us O God,
Circle us with your presence.
Keep love within,
Keep trouble out.
Keep faith within,
Keep fear out.
That is my prayer for our congregation, that is my prayer today for the community of Brockport, the city of Rochester and even to the ends of the world.
Peace!
Shalom!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Leadership questions
It is always interesting when you begin research on a topic [and you have a lot of freedom, with a lot of questions] how your research leads you into one or another directions and then also to new questions.
I have now centered my week on two books on leadership. One is by Edwin H. Freidman, Failure of Nerve, Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix and another entitled Leadership by Howard Gardner, [who developed the whole idea really of multiple intelligences.]
There is way too much good rich food in the Freidman book to possibly include it here, but I have been trying to walk away each day with one quote from which I begin to write or explore.
Today this is the quote that came to me,
Conceptually stuck systems [the mainline churches in North America]
cannot become unstuck simply by trying harder! Friedman, P. 32
This seems, upoon first reading that is it so obvious that it is absurd. But truly it is about re-examing the whole paradigm for how we do church. Instead of just saying, "well, we have to add a new program, or do more of this, or do more of that," this suggests that more of what we are currently doing, is not going to yield different results.
Let me be clear, I am not talking about changing the gospel message, or short changing our faith or our relationship to God but looking at how we do church and asking questions about meaning for the new, those outside who won't come in to hear the good news.
This could be exciting to imagine together what the church might look like in 10-20 years.
INstead of fearing it, perhaps engaging it, is the challenge.
Later this afternoon I will leave for Germany to stay with friends just until Sunday night.
The weather is terrible, I am not at all excited about driving.
Worry, however, it not productive so I am deciding to just enjoy the ride, the snow and the view
of the countryside.
More.
I have now centered my week on two books on leadership. One is by Edwin H. Freidman, Failure of Nerve, Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix and another entitled Leadership by Howard Gardner, [who developed the whole idea really of multiple intelligences.]
There is way too much good rich food in the Freidman book to possibly include it here, but I have been trying to walk away each day with one quote from which I begin to write or explore.
Today this is the quote that came to me,
Conceptually stuck systems [the mainline churches in North America]
cannot become unstuck simply by trying harder! Friedman, P. 32
This seems, upoon first reading that is it so obvious that it is absurd. But truly it is about re-examing the whole paradigm for how we do church. Instead of just saying, "well, we have to add a new program, or do more of this, or do more of that," this suggests that more of what we are currently doing, is not going to yield different results.
Let me be clear, I am not talking about changing the gospel message, or short changing our faith or our relationship to God but looking at how we do church and asking questions about meaning for the new, those outside who won't come in to hear the good news.
This could be exciting to imagine together what the church might look like in 10-20 years.
INstead of fearing it, perhaps engaging it, is the challenge.
Later this afternoon I will leave for Germany to stay with friends just until Sunday night.
The weather is terrible, I am not at all excited about driving.
Worry, however, it not productive so I am deciding to just enjoy the ride, the snow and the view
of the countryside.
More.
Friday, I am late sorry, not for lack of trying
Thursday afternoon after I wrote my blog I went with another student into the city of Prague. I had purchased a toothbrush and somehow it never made it into my suitcase and so I have been using a tiny plastic one I bought for the plane. A friend asked if I would like to go with her to the grocery and I did so I could get a real toothbrush and some liquid dish soap. We took the bus, it is an interesting experience when you have absolutely no clue about the language. I can pick out meanings with Spanish, but Czech is so beyond me I don't pretend, [I can say please and thank you.] We made into the "circle" and then didn't know which way the grocery was. They do have stores like our Walmarts or Targets or Wegmans, they are generally the first floor of a building and there are not big signs that tell you it is a grocery store.
Eventually we stopped and asked and the man pointed one way and said, "Walk 10 minutes." Well, on a traffic circle it was pretty diffcult to really know what direction we should walk. SO we started and then walked a ways and asked a young couple again. [ I have learned now that generally young people in foreign countries are more apt to know English, and luckily this couple did.] We arrived at the door about 5 minutes later. You would never have known, even a block away, that this was a grocery.
I was able to purchase a reasonable box of granola, called "Musli", a new toothbrush, some dish soap, a package of sponges and some coffee cream for 104 kc, which is 104 Czech Crowns, each U.S. dollar is currently worth around 17,50 Czech Crowns. They use a comma in money, where we use a period. I'll leave you all to do the math.
Then we made our way back in the snow and ice around the traffic circle to take the bus back to the seminary. It was about a 15-20 minutes ride. The entire trip took us about 1 1/2 hours.
We did this all for one bus ticket for 26kc, approximately 1.50 U.S. Not terribly cheap, not terribly expensive. There is an effficient and well used subway, tram and bus system here. Except for pick pockets it is a very safe city.
Back to work in the evening, after a nap. I am still having such a problem with the time difference with sleeping.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Peter for today:
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but imperishable through the living and enduring word of God.
That loving one another deeply, from the heart, not for-our-selves but because it shows we have been born of God, means that it should probably look very different from the kind of romantic love than we normally picture. It is something to seriously ponder. How might we practice that?
It is enough for one day with everything else that I studied to end my day thinking on this.
Eventually we stopped and asked and the man pointed one way and said, "Walk 10 minutes." Well, on a traffic circle it was pretty diffcult to really know what direction we should walk. SO we started and then walked a ways and asked a young couple again. [ I have learned now that generally young people in foreign countries are more apt to know English, and luckily this couple did.] We arrived at the door about 5 minutes later. You would never have known, even a block away, that this was a grocery.
I was able to purchase a reasonable box of granola, called "Musli", a new toothbrush, some dish soap, a package of sponges and some coffee cream for 104 kc, which is 104 Czech Crowns, each U.S. dollar is currently worth around 17,50 Czech Crowns. They use a comma in money, where we use a period. I'll leave you all to do the math.
Then we made our way back in the snow and ice around the traffic circle to take the bus back to the seminary. It was about a 15-20 minutes ride. The entire trip took us about 1 1/2 hours.
We did this all for one bus ticket for 26kc, approximately 1.50 U.S. Not terribly cheap, not terribly expensive. There is an effficient and well used subway, tram and bus system here. Except for pick pockets it is a very safe city.
Back to work in the evening, after a nap. I am still having such a problem with the time difference with sleeping.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Peter for today:
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but imperishable through the living and enduring word of God.
That loving one another deeply, from the heart, not for-our-selves but because it shows we have been born of God, means that it should probably look very different from the kind of romantic love than we normally picture. It is something to seriously ponder. How might we practice that?
It is enough for one day with everything else that I studied to end my day thinking on this.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
This morning's work, reading, reflections has been so rich and so exciting I am totally energized.
(My computer is not letting me make the changes that I have tried now several times and because I am using a network that is in a different language, I cannot do spell check, nor do I have a handy dandy dictionary next to me here. SO be gracious, please, I know that I have spelling issues and would find help if not for here. Thanks.)
Could also be that the generator broke and there was no hot water, so I started with warm water and then it was freezing cold and I had to shower and wash my hair with ice water. Then my blower dryer, [new travel one] started smoking. SO either way, even with this small human daily tragedies, I spent time in the library with my research and got energized.
Life here is ritualized with the community in which I am learning. We rise early and breakfast is offered in common dining room. [I missed it this morning due to everything but managed to sneak a cup of strong coffee which was sorely needed.] Then we go to chapel to pray and sing, have short reflection time. Again I so appreciate the prayers in many languages, the rich harmonies with many different "accents". Then to work and some errands, ending at the library for study til, mid morning when the whole community gathers for coffee. [YES!] Then back to the library where I study and read til noon, then off to lunch at dining room.
Now I return to my room, where I find solitude for reading and more studying and of course this blog. This is a new discpline for me, forcing me to write and encapsulate my day. It is strange that I have never seen it as a discipline. Solitude too, becomes a discipline.
Yesterday listening in the afternoon to Ph.D. proposals and seminar speakers, I Peter was mentioned as a heraneutic (bible) support for peace-making. I decided to read I Peter every day, even the parts about wives being submissive to their husbands. [ While choking] I have discovered that every day, every time I read it, it is new. There is some kernal that speaks outloud. It is only 5 chapters, about 3 1/2 pages long. Quick read but real depth. I find myself reading some parts over several times at one reading. Discipline does emerge when we seek it. It is surprising what we find.
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~
[Dietrich Bonehoeffer talks about God's "yes", in his Wedding Sermon from a prison cell, which we read at our wedding. I have found that if God adds God's "yes" to somethings, God just as surely adds a God "No" to things as well, that is if we are listening.]
A personal lesson that has emerged in my time here is about God's no-s. A few years ago, I too
was accepted into the Ph.D. program here. I will never forget the day my acceptance came in the mail, nor my spirit's elation. It was a life-long dream. As it turned out, family realities, church realities and financial realities all converged to make pursuing my doctorate impossible.
For some time now, I have been that metaphorical three year old having a temper tantrum with God. I have been stomping my perverbial feet and pointing my perverbial finger, pitching my own version of a "pissy-fit" for God. Thank God, God was not at all impressed. The "NO" was clear, I just didn't want to hear it. When listening, a heart can hear what the spirit is saying even when it doesn't really want to. Isn't that the miraculous-ness of the spirit's work?
So... my lesson....as my days here began, I truthfully started my time with Ph.D. envy. But now I have discovered the gift I have been given and that is freedom. I am free to study away, research away and be led where my research takes me. Truly, in ways that hopefully will be meaningful to my call as Pastor of First Baptist Church of Brockport, in Upstate NY, I can follow the spirit. I came with leadship questions, I came with questions about "context" and how it affects ministry or how ministry is affected by it. Unbeknownst to me I was led here for a kind of solitude I would not have found in the USA, where language, culture and tradition are all foreign.
(My computer is not letting me make the changes that I have tried now several times and because I am using a network that is in a different language, I cannot do spell check, nor do I have a handy dandy dictionary next to me here. SO be gracious, please, I know that I have spelling issues and would find help if not for here. Thanks.)
Could also be that the generator broke and there was no hot water, so I started with warm water and then it was freezing cold and I had to shower and wash my hair with ice water. Then my blower dryer, [new travel one] started smoking. SO either way, even with this small human daily tragedies, I spent time in the library with my research and got energized.
Life here is ritualized with the community in which I am learning. We rise early and breakfast is offered in common dining room. [I missed it this morning due to everything but managed to sneak a cup of strong coffee which was sorely needed.] Then we go to chapel to pray and sing, have short reflection time. Again I so appreciate the prayers in many languages, the rich harmonies with many different "accents". Then to work and some errands, ending at the library for study til, mid morning when the whole community gathers for coffee. [YES!] Then back to the library where I study and read til noon, then off to lunch at dining room.
Now I return to my room, where I find solitude for reading and more studying and of course this blog. This is a new discpline for me, forcing me to write and encapsulate my day. It is strange that I have never seen it as a discipline. Solitude too, becomes a discipline.
Yesterday listening in the afternoon to Ph.D. proposals and seminar speakers, I Peter was mentioned as a heraneutic (bible) support for peace-making. I decided to read I Peter every day, even the parts about wives being submissive to their husbands. [ While choking] I have discovered that every day, every time I read it, it is new. There is some kernal that speaks outloud. It is only 5 chapters, about 3 1/2 pages long. Quick read but real depth. I find myself reading some parts over several times at one reading. Discipline does emerge when we seek it. It is surprising what we find.
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~
[Dietrich Bonehoeffer talks about God's "yes", in his Wedding Sermon from a prison cell, which we read at our wedding. I have found that if God adds God's "yes" to somethings, God just as surely adds a God "No" to things as well, that is if we are listening.]
A personal lesson that has emerged in my time here is about God's no-s. A few years ago, I too
was accepted into the Ph.D. program here. I will never forget the day my acceptance came in the mail, nor my spirit's elation. It was a life-long dream. As it turned out, family realities, church realities and financial realities all converged to make pursuing my doctorate impossible.
For some time now, I have been that metaphorical three year old having a temper tantrum with God. I have been stomping my perverbial feet and pointing my perverbial finger, pitching my own version of a "pissy-fit" for God. Thank God, God was not at all impressed. The "NO" was clear, I just didn't want to hear it. When listening, a heart can hear what the spirit is saying even when it doesn't really want to. Isn't that the miraculous-ness of the spirit's work?
So... my lesson....as my days here began, I truthfully started my time with Ph.D. envy. But now I have discovered the gift I have been given and that is freedom. I am free to study away, research away and be led where my research takes me. Truly, in ways that hopefully will be meaningful to my call as Pastor of First Baptist Church of Brockport, in Upstate NY, I can follow the spirit. I came with leadship questions, I came with questions about "context" and how it affects ministry or how ministry is affected by it. Unbeknownst to me I was led here for a kind of solitude I would not have found in the USA, where language, culture and tradition are all foreign.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Seminary Prague, Third Day
It is my second full day of study after the exhaustion of traveling across the pond. Yesterday was productive and relational and full. I have read and studied, worshipped and prayed with my fellow students. Across ethnic and language and cultural barriers we have shared in this wonderful gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, that we can be one at the table of reconciliation.
After chapel, yesterday, I went traveling around the campus in the cold, ice and snow. Then all campus coffee time and met more new friends. Then began study in the library. Met a wonderful woman from England, with whom I shared lunch. We have become friends. Once I again I learn, that listening, truly listening, is the best form of love, respect, honor among us human types. At the end of lunch she laughed and said, "I have told you my story....how did that come out of me, I don't do this...." Perhaps she would, or could, if we all just practiced listening.
I wonder again how that affects our relationships in the church. How would the church be seen in the world if we offered listening? What if with us, we listened, really listened to people's stories, to their hurts and their fears? How would it change the church....how would it change our congregations?
In the afternoon, back I went to the library for more reading. Found several sources that I read on Leadership in the 21st Century. Some of the questions that came to me I noted in my writings yesterday, but today, I am consistently reminded of the quote I read from Parker Palmer yesterday who quoted the great medieval mystic of Flanders, John Ruysbroeck, "you are as holy as you will to be."
In this context, where I am, here and now. at an International Seminary, with Christians from all over the world, I am being constantly reminded again and again of the idea of Christian Character....seeking righteousness, the spiritual disciplines of prayer, fasting and the Eucharist.
We are as holy as we will to be. Without being trite I am reminded of a saying I learned as a teen-ager.....the trouble of a living sacrafice is that they are always trying to crawl off the altar....or if you aren't close to God, guess who moved.
Seriously, we can joke but Tony Compolo brought this point home to us on Saturday...."We are Christians to a point." Well, to what point? To the point of the cross? Truly....to what point are we practicing our faith? How does it inform our daily living? How disciplined are we in these Christian Practices? How far do we seek to go in our discipleship?
Not excluding the theology and understanding of "by GRACE you are saved, not by human works lest we are tempted to boast" (translation, mine)...the depth of our Christian experience, the level of our passion, is it not to what extent we are willing to walk the path of obedience? So how shall our community of faith call us into discipleship, and what might that look like?
These are troubling questions. Troubling questions indeed.
~~~~~~~~~~~
On a personal note: I slept horribly, awoke to loud bangs in the night....then read til my eyes were crossed. Am missing James and the homefront, the dog and my washing machine.
How does it change our perspective when we live with less.........?
J
After chapel, yesterday, I went traveling around the campus in the cold, ice and snow. Then all campus coffee time and met more new friends. Then began study in the library. Met a wonderful woman from England, with whom I shared lunch. We have become friends. Once I again I learn, that listening, truly listening, is the best form of love, respect, honor among us human types. At the end of lunch she laughed and said, "I have told you my story....how did that come out of me, I don't do this...." Perhaps she would, or could, if we all just practiced listening.
I wonder again how that affects our relationships in the church. How would the church be seen in the world if we offered listening? What if with us, we listened, really listened to people's stories, to their hurts and their fears? How would it change the church....how would it change our congregations?
In the afternoon, back I went to the library for more reading. Found several sources that I read on Leadership in the 21st Century. Some of the questions that came to me I noted in my writings yesterday, but today, I am consistently reminded of the quote I read from Parker Palmer yesterday who quoted the great medieval mystic of Flanders, John Ruysbroeck, "you are as holy as you will to be."
In this context, where I am, here and now. at an International Seminary, with Christians from all over the world, I am being constantly reminded again and again of the idea of Christian Character....seeking righteousness, the spiritual disciplines of prayer, fasting and the Eucharist.
We are as holy as we will to be. Without being trite I am reminded of a saying I learned as a teen-ager.....the trouble of a living sacrafice is that they are always trying to crawl off the altar....or if you aren't close to God, guess who moved.
Seriously, we can joke but Tony Compolo brought this point home to us on Saturday...."We are Christians to a point." Well, to what point? To the point of the cross? Truly....to what point are we practicing our faith? How does it inform our daily living? How disciplined are we in these Christian Practices? How far do we seek to go in our discipleship?
Not excluding the theology and understanding of "by GRACE you are saved, not by human works lest we are tempted to boast" (translation, mine)...the depth of our Christian experience, the level of our passion, is it not to what extent we are willing to walk the path of obedience? So how shall our community of faith call us into discipleship, and what might that look like?
These are troubling questions. Troubling questions indeed.
~~~~~~~~~~~
On a personal note: I slept horribly, awoke to loud bangs in the night....then read til my eyes were crossed. Am missing James and the homefront, the dog and my washing machine.
How does it change our perspective when we live with less.........?
J
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Prague: Study at International Baptist Seminary
I arrived in Prague yesterday morning after a bumpy ride across the ocean, exhausted and elated at the same time. There is always the rush of the NEW, what will I encounter, with what new friends shall I share this new path for this time.
Upon arrival at the Seminary I am reminded once again how much we Westerners take for granted, space and stuff...how entitled we have come to be. At reception I am "checked" in and already communication is altered by language. How have we come to understand English as yet another form of entitlement?
I climb 54 stairs, outside, in the ice and snow with my bags,(another 30+ inside until someone shows me the elevator) to my small but comfortable room: kitchenette, single bed, wooden table with two chairs, a small wardrobe, a bathroom, the entire room about the size of my kitchen at home, but it holds everything I need for two weeks of study, prayer and renewal.
I return to the bottom of the stairs to reception to retrieve my other bag and wonder once again about "stuff" why we think it is so important to have it. I had a good friend in Michigan who truly desired to only have enough stuff to be able to carry it all in his backpack. OF course that never actually worked, but how much simpler life would be, if that is all each of us on this planet carried with them.
After three trips for stuff and for information, I have finally fallen face first into bed for much needed sleep, the first real sleep in more than 24 hours.
It is an exercise in spiritual reflection to be part of a Christian Community that is intentionally inclusive, across language and cultural custom. At prayer time this morning, there are prayers in three different languages, the only word understood by all is "Amen". So be it, or perhaps more closely translated this morning, "May it be so O God".
After prayers and more information sharing, introductions, tours, I settle into the Library.
I feel that I need a clearer objective for my time here, these themes emerge as the leading questions for my study these two weeks:
a: To listen: to the stories of those gathered around me, whomever is willing to tell me their stories, to listen to that still small voice of God through others and within my own heart.
b. To reflect and study around these two questions I borrow from resources I am reading on leadership: Is it possible in these days and time in the life of the church to be in leadership in the church and still live a healthy life? AND..."can the healed leader throw herself or himself into the task of healing the organization without once again taking on unhealthy patterns?
Upon arrival at the Seminary I am reminded once again how much we Westerners take for granted, space and stuff...how entitled we have come to be. At reception I am "checked" in and already communication is altered by language. How have we come to understand English as yet another form of entitlement?
I climb 54 stairs, outside, in the ice and snow with my bags,(another 30+ inside until someone shows me the elevator) to my small but comfortable room: kitchenette, single bed, wooden table with two chairs, a small wardrobe, a bathroom, the entire room about the size of my kitchen at home, but it holds everything I need for two weeks of study, prayer and renewal.
I return to the bottom of the stairs to reception to retrieve my other bag and wonder once again about "stuff" why we think it is so important to have it. I had a good friend in Michigan who truly desired to only have enough stuff to be able to carry it all in his backpack. OF course that never actually worked, but how much simpler life would be, if that is all each of us on this planet carried with them.
After three trips for stuff and for information, I have finally fallen face first into bed for much needed sleep, the first real sleep in more than 24 hours.
It is an exercise in spiritual reflection to be part of a Christian Community that is intentionally inclusive, across language and cultural custom. At prayer time this morning, there are prayers in three different languages, the only word understood by all is "Amen". So be it, or perhaps more closely translated this morning, "May it be so O God".
After prayers and more information sharing, introductions, tours, I settle into the Library.
I feel that I need a clearer objective for my time here, these themes emerge as the leading questions for my study these two weeks:
a: To listen: to the stories of those gathered around me, whomever is willing to tell me their stories, to listen to that still small voice of God through others and within my own heart.
b. To reflect and study around these two questions I borrow from resources I am reading on leadership: Is it possible in these days and time in the life of the church to be in leadership in the church and still live a healthy life? AND..."can the healed leader throw herself or himself into the task of healing the organization without once again taking on unhealthy patterns?
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