Esther.

I have been thinking about Esther some more and the word that comes to my mind most powerfully is courage. Her courage is even hard to get your mind around. I want to say, “Wow Esther, how did you actually deal with your fear?” I wonder what she would tell us? Was it faith in God through fasting and prayer? Was it just that she knew either way it was life or death? Did her friendship with the other women with whom she lived give her the strength? I wondered this week if the other women figured out she was a Jew? Did they keep her secret for her? How did she actually feel about the King?

Is that kind of courage a gift from God only certain people are given? Can you get more courage? Can you grow courage? Would we have more courage if we fasted? Prayed together more? IF we desire more courage do we ask for it or do we gain courage by practicing facing our fears?

I would love to have a coffee sit-down with Esther. I would want to hear from her how her life prepared her for “such a time as this”. I would ask her how her women friends helped. I would ask her how she felt afterward. Maybe someday I will actually get to have a conversation with her. Regardless, I give thanks for her, for her life and courage and faith. She reminds me a lot of Mary. Both of them risk their position and their lives for something outside of themselves. Really in a sense they risk everything for us too. It humbles me. Good stories to ponder as we begin advent.

Pay Attention.

I was driving to work this morning through the back streets of our little village, paying attention to my surroundings. I have been working on that…paying attention. Usually I am in my head checking off my to-do list or writing my sermon, or thinking of people I need to visit, my grocery list….but today I was concentrating on paying attention.

I realized how many businesses had come and gone since we moved here from Michigan. I saw new buildings and space where old buildings once stood, I noticed new paint and new signs and new roads. Even my driving habits are different, what roads I take more often, where I go. There are new people in my life too, people whose lives are now intertwined with mine. And people I miss who are no longer in my everyday-circle.

I was struck by how much life changes all the time. We age, we move and our work changes, our friends change, our children grow. It is hard sometimes to deal with these changes but they are universal to the human experience. Everything changes, always.

I have also been thinking a lot about our story from last Sunday about Abigail. What a remarkable women she was. She was intelligent, wise and humble. Her faithfulness to her community, her God and to those within her family, was pretty astounding given her life circumstances. Talk about change, Abigail’s life took a 180 degree turn, virtually everything changed. Easy for us to say, “Well, it was for the good.” Even good change is often very difficult. Wonder how it was for her to save her people, lose her husband, become David’s wife?

I love the stories of the Old Testament, how human they are, how dramatic they are, how like us they were, how like them, we are. I love that for thousands of years we have been learning from them. I am reminded how important it is to pay attention.

David and Goliath

Sunday our story was about David and Goliath. Coming to this story as an adult was a different experience for me. As I stated in my sermon, the gore, the beheading was hard to read. We talked about how this story could possibly be relevant for us today and the feedback I have gotten since Sunday is interesting and thoughtful. I wanted to share some of our member reflections.

Sometimes we are the ones feeding the “giant” or “giants” in our life. When we place high expectations of perfection on ourselves often we feed the giant. And when we are perfectionists with ourselves, it often translates into expecting perfectionism from others. We place the bar so high that those around us can never reach it. It is a set up for us and for them.

How about when we feed the “giant” by negative self-talk. We repeat to ourselves the litany of mistakes or failures and it becomes cyclical. The more we bad-mouth ourselves, the harder it is try or care or believe in ourselves and we give over all power to the “giant”. “Of course I can’t win” we say to ourselves and we are done before we even try. Stop the feeding of the giant with negative self-talk. Forgiveness is found in our living, loving God and we are offered Grace each day to begin again. Every morning is a new morning to offer our lives to God.

I was reminded by one member that “giants” come in all sizes. That made me laugh. It is true. Giants, those things that trip up us or make us stop trusting ourselves and God, those things that tempt us, those things come in big packages yes, but often in little packages as well. They are so troubling, or so tempting or so painful that their size takes on enormous proportion. The problem or issue become bigger and bigger, like procrastination. May start really small, but by the time we get help to deal with it, it has grown beyond our wildest imaginations.

Remember David, had to shuck all the conventional armor, go with the sling shot which had worked for him the past and concentrate on having a good aim. He mentioned that he did all of this in the service of, and in the strength of, the living God. We too are promised help and strength and love by our Living God and perhaps we need to sometimes shuck all the “conventional armor”; unsolicited advice, negative self-talk, negative feedback, the nay-saying crowd, and just go forward with our best gifts, trusting God and trusting ourselves. There is so much hope in this story. I hope it feeds you some more this week and that is gives you strength while you are out there on the mission field of our world, slaying the giants.

If you feel led to read ahead, this coming Sunday we will be reflecting on the story of Abigail and David in I Samuel 25, great story of a courageous woman.

Power Equal To Our Tasks

While visiting friends in New Jersey, my friend, Pastor Mike showed me a book of prayer that had been given to his grandmother. I loved the inscription and gently started turning the pages of this lovely book on prayer. In the forward I found this quote:

“Oh do not pray for easy lives.” Phillip Brooks said once. “Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work will be no miracle; but you will be the miracle. And every day you will wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God.”

From Your Prayers and Mine, Compiled by Elizabeth Yates, 1954

This week every time I read one of the headlines about stocks falling and our economy and the mess we have made of everything politic, I thought of this quote. We are living in difficult and confusing times and we are making it worse by finger-pointing and shouting at one another. The divisive and angry tone of our culture has created such division in our country, it is very unsettling.

Really, the last three nights it has been hard to go to sleep. My stomach tells me that I am worrying when I should be trusting. I am not speaking here of a trust that thinks God is going to make it all better or easier but a trusting that believes prayer can make a difference and creativity and hard work are still needed and righteousness matters. I am talking about the kind of prayer that knows that change begins with me and I need to monitor my attitudes and my words. I am talking about the kind of trust that believes that God will give us what we need, not always what we want and that it will come when God believes it is the right time. The kind of trust that still nourishes hope when the sun hasn’t yet come out but faith shines a light.

This is what we are called to. I hope we have the will to follow. I pray we do. I am praying that we have the power equal to our tasks. Praying for the power of the Holy Spirit equal to our calling to love, to work things out with cooperation, to serve those that need it most, remembering that we must love justice, act kindly and walk in humilility before our God.

What do I need to be full?

Next Tuesday is the first day of summer. What does conjure up for you? Do you think of water? Sun? Long walks with the dog? Bicycles? No school? Vacation? Trips? Family sightings?

I was reminded this morning that nothing, absolutely nothing, works on empty. Even inanimate objects need to have a source of energy. My car has to have the required amount of oil, gas, clean air. My computer and cell phone have to spend the required number of hours plugged into electricity to charge their batteries.

Living things need energy as well. My plants need water and some sunlight. My dog has to have clean water, food and exercise everyday to be a happy dog. He has Addisons disease so he also needs regular shots at the vet and a pill buried inside a treat every-other morning. He needs people time and needs time away from people each and every day.

So, I wonder do you ever stop and ask, “what do I need to be full?” Every one of us needs rest, water, good food. We need time with friends, family and our faith communities and we need time away from our friends, family and faith communities. We need to take time to “plug” ourselves into the one true source of power and life, God. Some of us have health issues we have to take into account. Some of us need to take extra care with medicine or oxygen. No two person’s needs are exactly the same. We are all different members of the same body. But even our individual bodies have individual needs that need our attention too or we become sick or empty.

I am reminded of the hym
Fill My Cup Lord Lyrics

(Verse 1)
Like the woman at the well I was seeking
For things that could not satisfy;
But then I heard my Savior speaking:
"Draw from the well that never shall run dry".

(Chorus)
Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul;
Bread of heaven, Feed me till I want no more--
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

As I think about summer I know that I am looking forward to a slower pace. I know that I will need to spend more time outside and away from people. I need to honor some retreat time with the source of my being. I need this interior time with God in order to prepare for busier times of the year. I need some extra family fun time and some plain old rest and relaxation with some iced tea and a good novel. None of this costs extra money or will be elaborate. It is actually difficult to put into words how much I am looking forward to it.

As your pastor I encourage you to ask the question, “What do I need to fill my soul, take care of my body this summer?” I encourage you to speak it out loud to a loved one or write it in a journal. Then pray about it asking God to help you get what you need. If I run into you this summer I may just ask you, “How is the filling- up going?” I hope you ask me too.

Blessings.

First steps in our eight-week journey together

We begin this eight-week journey of finding time for quiet and solitude, twice daily.
We begin paying more attention to living in God's presence, individually and together.

So, this morning I sat in my office and shut my eyes. I said to God, "I am here. I am quiet."
Well for about 30 seconds and then my mind flitted to my last phone call. Thinking,
"Was that something I should have managed?" Then drifting off into more questions,
caught myself. "Be still and know that I am God."

45 seconds--- my computer dinged, NEW e-mail. My eyes popped open.
No, I will not check it, I thought. I will be quiet and still with God for 4 minutes
in a row. "Be still and know that I am God." I start again.

Planning for Christian Education for next year, runs across my brain.
I chase it with planning and plotting. Then, I stop myself. Open, my
eyes, say outloud to God in whose presence we live. "Sorry. I will be still."

Somehow after six or seven initial trys, I manage to be quiet, still, in God's
presence for a full five minutes. I read the poem again, "I have a need of such
clearence" is right. (Daily Office, Remembering God's Presence Throughout the Day,
Begin the Journey, By Peter Scazzero, Page. 2) How do I clear my head, my heart
for you. I think "I hope it is going better for everyone else!"

Easter worship was so much easier with its music and flowers and
people. Just the sense of anticipation.

Why can't I seem to clear enough space in my mind and heart for that
kind of anticipation for living in the presence of God on Monday morning?

The stop sign seems a good sign for me to consider this week:
Day one, prayer one, not so good for me.
This practicing what I preach, hard stuff o Lord,
Very hard stuff.