Esther.

I have been thinking about Esther some more and the word that comes to my mind most powerfully is courage. Her courage is even hard to get your mind around. I want to say, “Wow Esther, how did you actually deal with your fear?” I wonder what she would tell us? Was it faith in God through fasting and prayer? Was it just that she knew either way it was life or death? Did her friendship with the other women with whom she lived give her the strength? I wondered this week if the other women figured out she was a Jew? Did they keep her secret for her? How did she actually feel about the King?

Is that kind of courage a gift from God only certain people are given? Can you get more courage? Can you grow courage? Would we have more courage if we fasted? Prayed together more? IF we desire more courage do we ask for it or do we gain courage by practicing facing our fears?

I would love to have a coffee sit-down with Esther. I would want to hear from her how her life prepared her for “such a time as this”. I would ask her how her women friends helped. I would ask her how she felt afterward. Maybe someday I will actually get to have a conversation with her. Regardless, I give thanks for her, for her life and courage and faith. She reminds me a lot of Mary. Both of them risk their position and their lives for something outside of themselves. Really in a sense they risk everything for us too. It humbles me. Good stories to ponder as we begin advent.

Pay Attention.

I was driving to work this morning through the back streets of our little village, paying attention to my surroundings. I have been working on that…paying attention. Usually I am in my head checking off my to-do list or writing my sermon, or thinking of people I need to visit, my grocery list….but today I was concentrating on paying attention.

I realized how many businesses had come and gone since we moved here from Michigan. I saw new buildings and space where old buildings once stood, I noticed new paint and new signs and new roads. Even my driving habits are different, what roads I take more often, where I go. There are new people in my life too, people whose lives are now intertwined with mine. And people I miss who are no longer in my everyday-circle.

I was struck by how much life changes all the time. We age, we move and our work changes, our friends change, our children grow. It is hard sometimes to deal with these changes but they are universal to the human experience. Everything changes, always.

I have also been thinking a lot about our story from last Sunday about Abigail. What a remarkable women she was. She was intelligent, wise and humble. Her faithfulness to her community, her God and to those within her family, was pretty astounding given her life circumstances. Talk about change, Abigail’s life took a 180 degree turn, virtually everything changed. Easy for us to say, “Well, it was for the good.” Even good change is often very difficult. Wonder how it was for her to save her people, lose her husband, become David’s wife?

I love the stories of the Old Testament, how human they are, how dramatic they are, how like us they were, how like them, we are. I love that for thousands of years we have been learning from them. I am reminded how important it is to pay attention.

David and Goliath

Sunday our story was about David and Goliath. Coming to this story as an adult was a different experience for me. As I stated in my sermon, the gore, the beheading was hard to read. We talked about how this story could possibly be relevant for us today and the feedback I have gotten since Sunday is interesting and thoughtful. I wanted to share some of our member reflections.

Sometimes we are the ones feeding the “giant” or “giants” in our life. When we place high expectations of perfection on ourselves often we feed the giant. And when we are perfectionists with ourselves, it often translates into expecting perfectionism from others. We place the bar so high that those around us can never reach it. It is a set up for us and for them.

How about when we feed the “giant” by negative self-talk. We repeat to ourselves the litany of mistakes or failures and it becomes cyclical. The more we bad-mouth ourselves, the harder it is try or care or believe in ourselves and we give over all power to the “giant”. “Of course I can’t win” we say to ourselves and we are done before we even try. Stop the feeding of the giant with negative self-talk. Forgiveness is found in our living, loving God and we are offered Grace each day to begin again. Every morning is a new morning to offer our lives to God.

I was reminded by one member that “giants” come in all sizes. That made me laugh. It is true. Giants, those things that trip up us or make us stop trusting ourselves and God, those things that tempt us, those things come in big packages yes, but often in little packages as well. They are so troubling, or so tempting or so painful that their size takes on enormous proportion. The problem or issue become bigger and bigger, like procrastination. May start really small, but by the time we get help to deal with it, it has grown beyond our wildest imaginations.

Remember David, had to shuck all the conventional armor, go with the sling shot which had worked for him the past and concentrate on having a good aim. He mentioned that he did all of this in the service of, and in the strength of, the living God. We too are promised help and strength and love by our Living God and perhaps we need to sometimes shuck all the “conventional armor”; unsolicited advice, negative self-talk, negative feedback, the nay-saying crowd, and just go forward with our best gifts, trusting God and trusting ourselves. There is so much hope in this story. I hope it feeds you some more this week and that is gives you strength while you are out there on the mission field of our world, slaying the giants.

If you feel led to read ahead, this coming Sunday we will be reflecting on the story of Abigail and David in I Samuel 25, great story of a courageous woman.